Wednesday, 31 January 2007

Looking Back On Today

I started this post last saturday but I never really got down to completing it because somehow I'm starting to lose my attention whenever I start to blog.


A reason why I've never given my life a stock-take is probably because I spend a substantial part of my time thinking about it and that, in all it's consistency, renders a summation of events pretty much redundant; almost like how you'd compare someone who tidies up his room everyday versus someone who tidies up his room once a week. The result is essentially the same.

But a 'look back' post always makes good blogging fodder, somewhere along the lines of those neverending 'The Best of (insert boyband name here)' music albums and the unceasing 'closing down sale'. These endless conclusions always have some degree of short-term juiciness.

So I went through Junior College, disillusioned as the mechanics of education went from bad to worse in terms of my personal preferences and expectations, and I grudgingly toiled through two years of distasteful science that didn't really mean much to me. I mean I really do appreciate the importance of good science but all that physics and chemistry mumbo jumbo wasn't for me.

I was still quite naive and impressionable, so life breezed by as I enjoyed school without the examinations, doing silly things here and there that I'm not really proud of now on hindsight. Don't even mention the secondary school days... What was I thinking back then? Come to think of it, not much probably.

Then came the 3rd quarter of JC life. The 'A' levels came and went like a crashing train - hard but fast - and I met Yingqi. I definitely wouldn't be shaped into the person I am now without her. The post-exam years were just like a fleeting drug; quick events like the prom came and we were high for a moment and then the sun rises the next day and you wonder what just happened, sobered by reality.

And as everyone would love to have it put, NS came too soon and before you knew what the hell just hit you, you'd be digging in the mud with a rifle slung around your back. Sometimes it really happens because I do wonder how on earth I got there into the shit-hole. Like, huh? You mean I marched 16km here? And it seemed like it was just moments ago I was still slumped in a sofa seat with iced mocha on the table, and feeling irritated that my browned hair was getting into my eyes. Is this all just a dream? Then you learn to space out and detach yourself from yourself (kinda) and just go along like a zombie, and before you know it you're throwing your SBO onto the floor back in bunk and feeling like a relieved wreck as you subconsciously slump into a chair and unbutton your soiled no. 4.

Days go by and while some choose to be sentimental and remember 'the good ol' days' of CDS, everything that was said and done is now kept locked away in an abstract part of my memory. Sometimes someone tells me about something we used to do, or some sticky situation I'd gotten myself into, and I genuinely go, "did that really happen?"

But while, in terms of joy, there's a lot left to be desired in the period of CDS unit life, I'd personally learnt more than I could ever learn anywhere else in a little over a year there. BMT was frivolous, SISPEC was totally fucked up, but all my dear experiences and lessons came from CDS. Putting these experiences and lessons into text would be pretty shortchanging but I'll try.

I found that the quickest way to learn anything would be to be thrown into the fray, because cliched as it sounds, experience is a hard but effective teacher. People bitch way more than they have to, and when things come full circle it's like they're bitching about themselves. Unity is strength. And when you empower your people with freedom and dignity in the right way and gain their trust, you will get the same amount of support back from each and everyone of them.
I don't really know if I'm making sense but it doesn't really matter. Soon enough, after playing my cards right, I had an unofficial 3-month break as a precursor to my ORD. Foresight and anonymity is good when times get tight, and as it seemed, every other day felt more laced with tension than the ones before.

I emerged, pretty much more aware of myself and things around and possibly a whole lot more cynical, while also becoming much more disciplined in terms of personal responsibilities and money. I can't make myself spend when I don't have to. I'm a fireball of pensive energy, rational and calculated by the belief that you are only as upset as you will allow yourself to be. Out went the baggy shirts and jeans ten times too large for me, and in came the fitting, collared clothes and neat shoes.

Then the realisation of bigger things ahead strikes, and every now and then old boys will meet again to muse about broken relationships, parenthood, career paths and anything and everything. You then begin to wonder about all the financial possibilities and burdens and the 'adult-stuff' you could happily put off when you were a swinging sixteen, like life-savings plans and insurance policies and maybe Yun Nam for some.

So, looking forward to university is like longing for the the final chance in life to do something objectively without the burdens of responsibility attached to it; because studying can be an excuse to get by. Four years of studying before plunging into a world where everything you do and everything you pull has an impact like ropes attached to every other consequential part of your life.

And in hopes of doing something different, I chose SMU.

Ok lah this post wasn't supposed to sound so unfunny but I just got more and more bored typing towards the end. And besides, talking about CDS can be depressing at worst.

Anyway, Singapore 2-1 Thailand. What a lousy decision, what a gay reaction. I'm not proud of the victory in the manner it's won, but that was really sissy stuff from the Thais. But I don't know... Two wrongs don't make one right.

Any Singaporean travelling to Thailand for the return leg is a very brave soul, and he/she shall have my respects. Haha.

"...the temerity to believe that people, pawns in the ultimate chess game, are smart enough to figure out the rules." - George Johnson

Today's Listenables:
Chris Daughtry - What About Now

Monday, 8 January 2007


My havaianas slippers broke! After about 2 years of good service... Kee bought them for me and they really served me well. :[

The job application e-mailing hit a crazy total of 64 resumes sent out this morning (this started on friday), and at about 1300h my 64 hooks caught a sniff. 0930h at somewhere near Chinatown tomorrow to turn that sniff into a bite.

Suddenly remembered that Kee and I saw Jamie Yeo and Glenn Ong last week at Serangoon Gardens. I've gotta mention this because I was ordering something when I saw this ex-NYJCian nearby. When I went back to our table, I told Kee that I found that guy familiar (cos at that moment I hadn't identified him as an ex-NYJCian yet), but I couldn't really show her where he was cos he was blocked by some other people.

So there we were, focusing and trying to look behind the people blocking us when Kee suddenly said, "hey isn't that Glenn Ong and Jamie Yeo?" My eyes refocused and I then realised that the people blocking our view were actually the celebrity duo.

And I was so caught up in looking beyond them that I couldn't even notice them. Pwned.

Some funny, alternative 'pwned' definitions at Urban Dictionary:


Created in 1972 by the 3rd SOG (Special Operations Group) when a Lt. Colonel Hank Munro shot a Vietnamese sentry with a Mk22 Hush Puppy. Due to the tension at the time, he inadvertantly said "pwned" instead of "Delta, move in and eliminate all hostiles." The subsequent death of Lt. Col. Munro as he charged a heavily fortified position lead to the term "pwned" being adopted as short-hand for "that dumbass just got his ass whupped in a helluva funny way."

"Did you see that car crash where 27 people died after someone swerved to avoid a cat?""PWNED."


An intentionally mispelled term for "Owned". Originating as a result of the "P-key" being adjacent and aligned with the "O-key" on the QWERTY keybpard, it is a commpnly accepted term ampng gamers and shares the same definitipn as "Owned".

1. You just got pwned

2. To accredit the usage of "Pwned" to anything mpre particular than a commpn typo would be an unsubstantiated concept of it's origin.

3. Everyone else's definition of "Pwned" just gpt pwned.

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

Today's Listenables:
Secondhand Serenade - End

Friday, 5 January 2007


I've been spending days trying to get that elusive early goodnight cos things keep screwing me up, like Newcastle playing Manchester Utd at 1am and V for Vendetta at midnight.

Ooh I've had a nice, deep dose of thought-provoking movies (judgment made without any prior reading of the books written before the movies) this week.

Caught Fast-Food Nation at the movies with Kee and what a surprising show it's turned out to be. A fictitious narrative somewhat, depicted from the lives of a few people intertwined into one another due to the fast food chain Mickey's, reflects the extremely ugly side of the modern fast food business in the world today, together with its harsh realities and moral and social repercussions. Read up on the book it was adapted from and its catchphrase was cool: "Do you want lies (fries) with that?" If it was a more mainstream movie that people would flock to just like they would to the Matrix or Mission Impossible, a lotta people would really think twice before sinking their teeth into another burger.

And I thought V For Vendetta was absolutely mind-blowing, in so many ways ranging from concept, plot and philosophy to the way Hugo Weaving 'weaved' such life into his character, V, by the extremely artistic usage of his voice (seriously pardon the pun I couldn't help it). A provocative movie that makes you question your stand as one of 'the people' in a country under a government.

And the dialogue is absolute poetry. Can't help it man here are some:

V: ...A building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by people. A symbol, in and of itself is powerless, but with enough people behind it, blowing up a building can change the world.

Evey Hammond: My father was a writer. You would've liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth while politicians use them to cover the truth up.

V: But regardless of what weapons they try to use to effect silence, words will always retain their power. Words are the means to meaning, and for some, the annunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country.

Creedy: Die! Die! Why won't you die..? Why won't you die?
V: Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.

Evey Hammond: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation, I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.

Valerie: I remember our teacher telling us that it was an adolescent phase that people outgrew. Sarah did. I didn't. In 2002, I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me. He told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. But I'd only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free.

Valerie: It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us.

V: People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

More quotes here. Hoho. Cheers people. Oh and anyway today's audio candy is the tune they're playing in the latest Nokia 'musiconnects' advert. Just thought it was really catchy so I got down to a little seeking and found it. Daft Punk... Ooz.

You go to sushi land and order the cast of the Little Mermaid on a pad of rice.

Today's Listenables:
Daft Punk - Digital Love

Resolution Absolution

Happy new year people.

In a flash, I've been through new year's passing and it's as hyped up as it commercially ought to be, our jubilance marketed to us right at our doorstep. There were parties, sales and events galore, but personally, this year's was really just another date on the calendar. I must admit that, considering the number of times I've told Kee my fast-approaching 21st birthday is but just another day, I might be taking the significance of a day like this for granted, but realistically in the bigger scheme of things in my life, it didn't hold any significance anyway nor make things any more pleasant for me.

The Christmas to new year period brings forth some of the longest holidays of the year and in light of my present predicament, employment would be and indeed was at an all-time low and I went through the festive season jobless and ultimately unable to cash-in on the very lucrative public holiday working hours too. And to top it all off, I couldn't party the holidays away and make the most out of my 'funemployment' because I had zero spending power and I was totally not in the mood given the circumstances of my futile job-hunt too.

Then there's the little part about the new year resolutions. Thankfully, the scenario of people asking you about your resolutions nowadays is dying out just like how forwarded SMSes are, so I'm not that bothered about the whole thing like how it used to be when we'd all have some resolutions just for the sake of it so that we've got a prepared answer when someone asks us about it.

"I never used to make any. I didn't believe in them. I thought they were pointless, distracting and prohibitive. I considered them a restriction on how you should live your life, and the kind of thing done by people who were afraid of taking things as they came. I also thought that if you wanted to give something up or change your life then you shouldn't need the prop of 1st January to do it."

A paragraph taken from someone's view about resolutions (named Ian for copyright's sake). He eventually defended the ideals of resolutions though, albeit for politically incorrect and sarcastic reasons. Just some cynical food for thought, cos to some extent that paragraph had an acute degree of truth in it, though not entirely considering that virtuously sticking to good resolutions may herald positive outcomes in life for those who are weaker-willed to deal with personal issues.

Anyway I've just got to say that watching Arsenal pick Charlton Athletic apart last week in such unapologetic and playfully patient manner is such a delight to watch. Now Henry's back, though not to his individual best but still bringing out some of the best in Arsenal's play, and the captain and his boys are still searching for the perfect goal; such a rare sight and one to behold in the physical nature of the English Premier League where, sometimes, the game is over before you can even hope to enjoy it.

Spent the majority of the week away prepping my Curriculum Vitae (CV, fancy word for resumé) and looking for work. It's quite a learning experience actually, and I'm almost sheepish to know just about how little I know. Chinhong mused about entry-level jobs being like playing an online game with guilds, like Gunbound - you've just joined the game but no guilds will accept you cos their minimum entry level is level 10 or so and you're only level 1. Or the 'pro's keep kicking you from rooms cos you're a newbie chick. A sucky vicious cycle arises and you end up spending alot of time in noob places trying to level up very slowly cos the level 10s don't wanna give you a chance.