Thursday 16 January 1986

Most Liked Facebook Statuses

So I wondered also what gems Joselasttime was capable of churning out. Here's what, with a countdown on most liked shit-jose-says (of course the numbers are modest lol):


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8 December 2011
15 likes:

"hello?"
"你好, 你会讲中文吗?"
"err 我不会 bye bye."
*kup phone

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3 January 2014
15 likes
4 comments:

"too much of anything is bad
but too much good whiskey is barely enough."
- mark twain

Funniest responses:
Vincent Ngai: A lot of writers are drunk bastards
Jose Yong: a lot of drunk bastards arent writers though. such wasted talent.

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2 February 2011
16 likes
3 comments:

Cristiano Ronaldo said once in a TV interview “the god of football has sent me to earth, in order to show people how to play football the right way!”
When Messi heard about what Ronaldo said, he looked at the ground thinking for a while, then said: “I don’t remember sending anyone.”

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12 July 2014
16 likes
2 comments:

Another turning point; a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist; directs you where to go

So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

Funniest response:
Khairul Anwar: Emo shit

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26 March 2012
17 likes
1 share:

"If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic."

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10 March 2011
18 likes
21 comments:

there is no theory of evolution, only a list of creatures chuck norris allows to live.

oh yeah responses:

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2 March 2014
19 likes
1 comment:

chuck norris knows what the fox says

Funniest response:
Chris Idema: The fox says anything chuck Norris wants him to

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24 December 2013
19 likes
7 comments:

"We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been standing in my place but who will never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Sahara - more, the atoms in the universe. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Donne, greater scientists than Newton, greater composers than Beethoven.

We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively outnumbers the set of actual people.

In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I that are privileged to be here, privileged with eyes to see where we are, and brains to wonder why."

- Dawkins

Funniest responses:
Chng Yee Siang: merry christmas.
Phay Su Hui: There could also be bigger assholes than Hitler too, just saying :P
Jose Yong: a bushier george bush too? NOOOUUU

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30 April 2013
20 likes
11 comments:

jose had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb;
jose had a little lamb, for dinner.

Funniest responses:
Neo Zhe Han: it... it... doesn't even rhyme...

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31 December 2012
20 likes
6 comments:

I'm so hot so cool and soooo handsomeeeee HAPPY NEW YEARRRRR

Funniest responses:
Isaac Chin: Kena hack lol poor Jose Yong
Rachel A.J. Lee: Hahaha awesome hacker.
Thảo Trang: Hapy new year
Yvonne Tan: Thank you captain obvious!
Khairul Anwar: Clearly sober.
Jose Yong: LOL thanks for the love gaiss. a special mention goes to Yvonne for being such a badass opportunistic ninja. happy new year, folks! (well, at least half of this fb jack makes sense)

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7 August 2013
21 likes
2 comments:

im on a pursuit of happiness and i know
everything that shines aint always gonna be gold


Funniest response:
SK Yong: Happiness is achieved when u are free from sufferings eg greed, jealousy, hatred, bad habits.

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5 November 2012
22 likes
1 comment:

Q: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
A: "Stop blaming the dress"
LOL

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23 November 2012
23 likes
8 comments:

me and my bipolar life; exactly 24 hrs ago i was bouncing to titanium and mr brightside at balaclava, and right at this moment im still in office trying to figure out something about hierarchical linear regressions.

Funniest responses:
Yvonne Tan: right now i'm writing about emotional models. let me fit you in there somewhere..
Ben Teong: You have indeed experienced linear regression since leaving balaclava
Peter Tay: I'm unipolar... Depression all through
Farhan Zaini: Yes. except the things im figuring not as chim as urs..bala today!
Jose Yong: hahahaha so it swings right back again! i hope i dont die i only slept 2 hrs lol
Ben Teong: Lol cyclical progrssion?? Hahah

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9 January 2014
25 likes
2 comments:

“The secret of happiness is to face the fact that the world is horrible, horrible, horrible.” ― Bertrand Russell

Funniest response:
Karine Tan: this man knows.

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31 January 2014
27 likes
36 comments:

during this year of the horse, will you communicate by morse?

the epic response.....

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3 March 2010
28 likes
5 shares
21 comments:

the bottomline argument on this 1k-own-a-flat thing:

tharman: a 2-room flat costing $100,000 can be owned on a $1,000/month income by attaining a combined grant of AHG + SHG that works out to be (up to) $60,000, thereby allowing the home-owner to service a 30-year loan of about $40,000 by paying $161 every month (maybe from CPF?).
almost everyone else: the AHG and SHG are awarded only if a person with low income of $1000 is married, which implies a family. assuming a family of 3 (which is less than ideal according to our state planners) that eats $2 chicken rice for every meal, they will incur 3x3x30x2 = $540 cost on food. taking transport into account, they may spend another $180 (which is a very conservative estimate). even if the family does and buys nothing else and pays off the 30-year loan via CPF, the family has only a savings rate of $280 per month, which - realistically - is very hard to get by with (considering inflation rates, illness, PUB bills, etc).

once again the anger comes from a rather obvious disconnect between what the people believe they can get by with and what the government thinks the people should get by with, topped off with very poor public relations. at a more implicit level, another issue arises - is owning a house not simultaneously important as having savings? most people would agree that the two are not independent issues; we dont think of owning a flat if we cant save, and at the same time if we do not have a place to live how are we supposed to start going about making ends meet? yet tharman's assertion implies that this is possible.

Funniest responses:
Tiff Chua: The solution is to take the 4k people need to open a table at mink and give it to the income holders of 1k per month, then everyone would have savings AND a house ...... PLUS a shorter mink queue.
Ben Teong: I vote Jose Yong for MP

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31 January 2014
35 likes
2 comments:

after one night of "守岁" i feel like death this morning. logical tradeoff

Funniest response:
Cherlyn Phua: But it's totally alright to party till 6am... Priorities indeed.
(my counter: but party til 6am dont need to wake up at 8am lol)

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19 September 2013
62 likes
27 comments:

your manuscript has been accepted for publication ooosh

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29 August 2014
64 likes
11 comments
2 shares:

Was having lunch at the coffee shop, when the cries of "Lai loh! Lai loh!" (i.e., "coming!") filled the air. The carpark ticketing uncle had been spotted, and now off go the sirens! All the guilty patrons paused mid-activity, got off their seats, and scampered over to the carpark to generally do something about the situation. The ticketing uncle looked over at the coffee shop and raised his hands exasperatedly, his facial expressions spelling out "walaoeh" rather palpably. This is a community at work, and in this seemingly trivial example lies a powerful message. Power doesn't exist in a vacuum. There is no power without social endorsement of that power, and when a group of people do not obey, then the powers that be no longer exist. This is a trivial example, but the logic prevails in other, more consequential circumstances - such as in corrupt police forces and illegitimate authoritarian governments. The community and its sounders at the coffeeshop serve to police the neighbourhood they care about in their own way, and that's why this silly little example is trivial yet heartwarming. The community is the most important, protective, and inclusive unit of society and through it the abuse of power from a source external to the community can be prevented. There are so many things that compromise on community spirit these days. When we lose community, we lose what is rightly ours.

Funniest response:
Travis Wong: #compocompetition Lol

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And this isn't really a top post, but I'm still proud of Joselasttime's comeback to the feminazi attack --

19 September 2013
11 likes
11 comments:
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